im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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