that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize