There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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