No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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