I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Randomize
