Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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