so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
