Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
