I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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