But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
