Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
