got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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