I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
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I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
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I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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