last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
