We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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