just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
