My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
