"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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