saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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