i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
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I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
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You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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