I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
