And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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