hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
