i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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