he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
