I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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