Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
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Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
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Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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