She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
