11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Randomize
