i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
