Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
