Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize