I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
