is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
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was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
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Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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