mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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