Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
