just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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