I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize