Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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