it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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