I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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