I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
