He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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