I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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