i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
