SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
