Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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