I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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