he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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