My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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