Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
