The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
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Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
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the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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