I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i barfeds in our rink
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast