the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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