in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
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i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
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There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....