somebody snuck up and got me drunk
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review