so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize