We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
