exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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